The adventures and musings of an aspiring shoe designer

Burning Bridges

Following the factory agreeing to produce my label there was a blur of activity.  I was an IT Recruiter by day, start-up business on break, lunch and weekends, mom in the evening, and shoe designer after everyone else went to sleep.  I look at it now and wonder how I managed but, most of you know that if you really want something somehow you always have the energy to pull it off. 

By this time I had set aside what seemed to me to be a decent amount of money, not a fortune but for someone saving on the side I had a pretty nice nest egg.  What I didn’t have was time, my husband had been urging me to quit my job and go after the dream full-time.  I have to say that these are the times when I know I married the right person, I mean who else on Earth would say go ahead and quit the best paying job you’ve ever had to chase your dream?  “The best husband in the world, that’s who.”  I have a lot of supporters and I am very grateful for each of them but, he literally put his money where his mouth is.  He kept saying how I need to hurry up and get rich so he can retire, what’s wonderful is that he believes in me that much.  I truly hope that I am able to do the same for him very soon, he has faith like no other.  Sometimes I think he believes in me even when I don’t; which is good because I have my days. 

Side note; you have to listen to those that believe in you and ignore all others if you want to chase dreams.  Having said that; also don’t listen only to those that say what you want to hear because that can harm almost as much as the nay saying.  So many people who love you will be nice when they need to be honest.  Seems to me that you have to walk a tightrope between the world of faith and dreams and the world of reality and somehow know when to lean into each world. I don’t claim to always do this correctly only that I understand that’s what you’re supposed to do.

I have had my days of faith and I have had my days of thinking I am crazy.  The question that I have asked myself in my darkest of hours is “what about the people who you see on American Idol for example.  Some of them can’t sing at all and they probably aren’t going to ever be a big star but they really do believe they will. Who’s to say I’m not just like them? ”   I really try had not to think like that but believe me I have my bad days. 

Being the person I am I immediately think about anyone that ends up doing anything great or worthwhile. I know that at the beginning they didn’t know how it would turn out,  you simply have to have faith.   I just want to be able to do what I love and make a great life out of it. I think this world would be a much better place if we all did the things we feel happiest doing, I believe we all want our life to have significance.

When all is said and done; good days or bad days, I love shoes, I love designing shoes, I have so many designs in my head that I can’t even get them on paper fast enough. In fact I do believe that I’ve forgotten more ideas than I’ve remembered.   I know that there will be some that love them and some that hate them and that’s just reality.  But I would much rather spend my life doing what I love than doing anything else.  I feel like that’s the key, regardless of how this turns out I need to do it, I can’t even imagine what else I would do.

So I finally listened to my husband because I realized that now that I had some funding what I needed to do was put in more time.  So I put in my notice and quit my job, my last day as an IT Recruiter was October 15, 2008.  I remember very clearly working out at the gym and listening to the worst financial news and all the predictions of doom and gloom, which partly put a stab of fear in my heart and partly made it all the clearer that I had burned a bridge and now there was no turning back.  Good! I thought then the only way out is up, I have no choice but to make this work.  Motivation at it’s finest.  This is also when I remembered why I don’t watch the news hardly at all, it’s hazardous to your mental health.

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